I decided not to let my husband take my children home to visit my grandparents

When they were in Vietnam for a year and a half, did they not visit my grandchildren? Why would they make me bring my children back to see them?

My husband and I know each other 14 years ago, after many parting until 2010, we went to study abroad and married and settled abroad. We are about the same age, about 33-34 years old. I was an only child and my husband was the eldest of three siblings. I have given birth to 2 babies who are all tedious in Australia, cute, good, and healthy. In order to have a good future, my wife and I have to put a lot of effort on our guest land. We do not live off of social benefits. To this day, my maternal family sacrificed a lot of help, both physically and mentally, and labor. So far my husband and I have not reciprocated anything outside so I often think about this. My grandmother helped unconditionally, no one ever told me anything, but I thought I owed my gratitude so much that I was always at peace.

For my husband's family, nearly 10 years have never seen my grandparents concerned, close and affectionate with my husband, except when there is a problem in my home in Vietnam, then I call him to be treated as a stepchild. The cost of studying abroad for my husband to study abroad is because my mother takes care of everything, my parents-in-law do not give a penny, nor do I have to give money, but I also do not care about my spirit, no need to know where my children are going learn. I did not look down on them because they were poor, because when I came together I knew that his family had no material, I still accepted, what I despised was their way of life.

The first time we went to study abroad, my mother gave some capital to do business, we were able to do business so I was just an international student but when I came home (without him to come back) I still had envelopes and gifts. full for everyone his family, no one is missing. My mother, while still in Vietnam, also treated his family very well. Yet they did not consider me or my children, my two children never knew the face of their grandparents, they never asked him, did not know his birthday, did not know how sick he was in the hospital or not I used to give you a cake. When I gave birth to my second baby boy, the first 3-year-old baby, who was anchored overseas, was unable to hire maids, I still had a business, so my grandmother found me struggling too much to bring my son back to Vietnam. Take care and help for half year. During those years and a half, my grandparents never visited me. I know my grandmother probably has a question about this, but no one asks me directly for fear of me thinking. I really feel ashamed for my parents-in-law. My mother once joked that my grandmother took care of the first child, so my second grandmother took care of it, but they all ignored it.

I conceive, give birth, I take care of children, do not need their families to take care, what I want to say is that they lack human affection and care. I think everything is responsible. My paternal grandparents never considered my two children to be grandchildren, never loved them. Please explain clearly that me and my parents-in-law do not have any conflict so that our grandparents hate to spread to me. My husband and grandparents didn't even care. My grandparents asked me twice a year, probably. They never understood our hardships, always thought of going abroad without providing support for people in Vietnam to build houses and floors, to buy land, what to do; wants us to take care of you guys at home but we can't.

Recently my husband kept asking me to bring my children to Vietnam for grandparents to see, I told him that he had legs and money to go, I had never banned him from visiting his family, and my children would not go anywhere without me. , How certain is. My husband and I disagree, not happy because of this controversy. I think "river water does not violate well water", I try to be kind, not chew the story of the past, do not hate and hate my family, generally we consider them as my husband's parents, that's all. more equally.

I do not agree to let my husband take my children to Vietnam without me to take care of me, I do not trust them to take care of my children without me, their 2 bones are my blood, everything I have , cannot be easily assigned to anyone except my family. My husband told me to go, but to tell the truth, I did not have any feelings for them but had to visit. One more thing is that after ten years of living together, my love for my husband is only gratitude, because 2 children but no longer love. Now my wish is to be a single mom, have a stable career, take care of my mother, raise 2 children so be grateful to those I owe so much gratitude.

Kieu